Gluttony - Over-indulgence and over-consumption of food, drink, or wealth items to the point of extravagance or waste.
I knew it was coming and it caught me off guard anyway. I was washing glasses and being mindful of the brews in the cellar when I felt the first chill in the air that was indicative of evil at work. Pint also woke up and a low rumble cleared his throat. The kind that was my warning sign to reach for my BFG under the bar and take the safety off.
Some other in the pub must have sensed it as well. Scotch put himself between the door and Margareta. Colonel Gin’s hand also fell to his service revolver. In fact his eyes twinkled like I had not seen them in years – he was at war again. He did not leave the chess board but his eyes were now very much on the door as well. Avion simply stood ready. I didn’t see Campeche but I am sure she was on the shadows. Tequila and Pina Colada moved in behind me. There was breathless silence for a few seconds as even Pint stopped growling.
When the door opened, what came in was not what we were expecting. It was a woman. She was curvy, overly so in that she was slightly overweight, but not in a bad way. She actually was oddly attractive. She had brown hair and eyes and attractive facial features. She had a quiet and gentle smile. Her pink dress reached to the floor and flattered her curves quite nicely.
“Well, it’s nice to be the center of attention.” Her voice was mellow and actually reverbed with the sound of a well played cello.
“I normally don’t say this to guest but you are not welcome here,” was my reply.
“I figured and so did my sisters. I however do not plan to stay long. I am only here to deliver a message and get something to eat.”
“You can deliver your message but I refuse to serve you anything. Too dangerous.”
“My sisters said you were a real ass. I guess they were right.”
I looked down for a second at Pint. He was on all fours, hair up and teeth bared. He was making no sound but I could see is muscles tensed.
“Your message, I don’t think my dog likes you.”
“It isn’t long. It’s simply that you will be destroyed and your pub burned to the ground. Typical villainess stuff.”
“Your boring me. You shouldn’t bore me.”
“Of course, Clint Eastwood as I recall. First however, we wish to take everything you love and destroy it piece by piece.”
“Well, yes. And are you sure you can’t give me something to eat? I’m starving.”
At that moment she seemed more powerful. The desire probably overtook everyone in the room to go get her a cookie or a piece of cake or something edible. My girls particularly, being used to service, started to move to react to her request. It was a surreal moment.
It ended with my BFG firing. I would describe it as something between a sonic bomb and a super nova going off. It deafens you and blinds you at the same time. When everyone could see again the woman had no head and only a smoking stump where her neck was. She stood there for a second like her body didn’t want to acknowledge it was missing a head and then flopped to the floor.
Suddenly the woman’s body did a transformation. She became bloated with fat, and her skin turned green and the smell of death filled the air. Then she exploded in a mess of green and brown fluids. The smell caused some to vomit immediately.
“Boss, what the hell was she?”
“Gluttony. A type of evil personified. Lovely, looks like fun but get rid of the temptation and she takes on her true form. A slimy, mass of death. We need to clean this up now.”
“No need boss. Look!”
Oddly enough the pub itself seemed to be cleaning itself. It was literally absorbing what was left of her into the floor.
“Naphtha’s magic. Good.”
I collapsed to one of my stools.
“Gluttony boss, does that mean the other six are not far behind?”
“Tequila, it definitely means they are not far behind. They however will not be that brazen. Gluttony is brazen. She likes to show off and she likes to be served. Most entertain her with a smile and a welcome. I know her danger too well so I refuse to feed her. She was a perfect messenger for them as they pretty much conceded that she would fail with me.”
“The others? How will they fare with you?”
“Some will be like Gluttony, they will have to be sneaky to get past my defenses. Others however I will need help with as I have had entertained them myself. They know me and how to tempt me. They will also be far more subtle.”
“Boss, I was going to say I would stand by you but I found myself strangely drawn in by her temptation. I wanted to feed her. I don’t know if I could help you.”
“You will surprise yourself when the time comes. Unfortunately, I will not be as so decisive as I was this time. Each one will be different.”
“Is this it then? The evil we are going to face?”
“No, I don’t think so Pina. I feel the seven deadly sins are only the beginning.”
Welcome to All Things Rabyd, your friendly neighborhood ‘clothing optional’ theology pub. I, the Rabyd Theologian and your bartender, thank you for stopping by. Please drink your theology responsibly or have a designated driver to get you home. Please tip your waitress and they might give you a kiss on the cheek. Just remember life is short so enjoy it. Blessings and Cheers!