It is probably to the pub’s credit that even though it goes through its ups and downs, it has a way of causing me to relax if it does not do that to anyone else. I for one was not going to let the terrorist actions of the Seven Deadly Sins get to me. I decided to head out to the courtyard and collapse into one of my yard chairs and prop up my feet. The courtyard was now green and covered with flowers of all types although there seemed to be an overabundance of daisies. The trees were in full leaf so there was no a good deal of shade people were taking advantage off by having a picnic here and there or like me were in the shade under the arbor leaning back with a glass of theology or cup of philosophy of some sort. The girls were busy inside and outside the pub serving drink which these days usually was cold beer like theology or iced coffee philosophy. It was definitely a summer time and people were both relaxing and enjoying being out of their houses.
I was curled up with one of my Harry Dresden novels by Jim Butcher when Hilda came walking up and plopped down on a bench in front of me. She was completely nude which is actually unusual for her. Her normal attire is some sort of bikini bottom made out of a flour sack or something, but this time she was not wearing it. I have been the bartender of this clothing optional pub for so long, the fact that anyone runs around naked is noted but not necessarily reacted to with shock. Hilda is a lovely redheaded (yes it is her real hair color) plus sized woman with nice curves actually. She was also carrying a whole lot of daisies. She dropped most of them in her lap when she sat down but then began ot string a daisy chain with the few in her hands. I know it was time for her to create her daisy bikini that she is fond of wearing as well. I went back to my book.
“Boss, would you like a refill?”
I looked up and it was Pina Colada in her normal barmaid outfit for the courtyard which allows the girls to hike up a shorter skirt, wear a halter top that has a bare midriff and they can forgo the stockings and wear more practical sandals for outside. She had a daisy in her hair which was completely yellow. This incidentally matches the daisy tattoo which is on her backside. She looked quite fetching but I knew as soon as she was off shift she would be out her wearing nothing but a smile with her boyfriend Professor Bourbon.
“Yes, Thanks Pina.”
With that she took my empty glass and in a few seconds she returned with a new full one.
“Boss, I have been meaning to ask you something.”
“Fire away Pina, I always have time for employees.”
“It’s kind of personal.”
“That’s OK my dear”
“Boss, I am just wondering why, with all the lovely women around here that you have never made a pass or tried to hook up with any of them? I know you married but I doubt you wife would ever know seeing she never comes here. You seem to be very loyal to her but I don’t know why seeing she is never around or seems to take any interest in the pub.”
I sat in silence for a few seconds.
“Let me put it to you this way. I have learned to enjoy the daisies in the courtyard without picking them.”
Pina looked puzzled.
“I live very much by the philosophy that people should be treated like people and that includes both sexes. In fact I would say that I work harder to treat women like people than men. I have always enjoyed the company of women more than men actually. What it points to me dear, is that it is very hard to see a woman as a woman when your lusting after her. It is the single thing you can do to a woman as a man to diminish her down to an object.”
“So you take no pleasure in our beauty?”
“Of course I do, it is part of what makes a female a female. I have learned how or make a valiant attempt at least to appreciate a woman’s beauty without think I need to possess it for myself. I try to keep it at the level of smelling and enjoying the sight of the flower without having to pick it and put it in a jar.”
“And what if a woman would try to seduce you? Or even if she simply wanted to show her appreciation for something you did for her with intimacy.”
“Hmmm. Seduction is a difficult thing and I am glad you admit that woman can be as sexually aggressive as men. I must freely confess that I am not aware that a woman has ever tried to seduce me even when I was younger, there are no Mrs. Robinson’s in my life. I have however felt that I have been given the appreciation offer by a few women, including those in this pub. I appreciate the offer but politely refuse. I mostly try to treat such women as sisters and having sex with a sister is just something I can’t do no matter how well intentioned the offer is. It is just wrong to me.”
“You are an only child right?”
“So how do you really know?”
“I am committed to a philosophy and theology that says incest has it’s problems that God frowns on and leave it at that. It was not always the case as I am sure Adam and Eve’s children married each other, but over time it just keeps things from going bat-crap as far a genetics and society is concerned.”
“But these women are not really your sisters.”
“Noted. I however consider them that way as I adopt them all in my head. There is only one woman that has pledged herself and her body to me and I and my body to her so that is where there is a woman who is more than a sister and a friend to me and that I my wife. When I go home at night to her, the dynamic is completely different than anything here at the pub.”
“But you never wonder what it might be like to have another woman as a lover?”
“Lord Pina, of course I have and any married man who says different is a liar. Like all men, sex dominates a good part of my thoughts each day. I just have learned the value of keeping those thoughts either directed toward my wife or completely in the realm of fantasy.”
“So do you admit then that some of the women in this pub may have been lovers of yours in a fantasy sense?”
“Well that is a personal question, but I would be lying if I said no. To me a fantasy lover is still dangerous if I consider the words of Jesus about lusting after women. I however know that lust is about a misguided desire to control another person’s sexuality for one’s own gratification. It is also a willful choice not something you just do because you exist or fall into some fatalistic trap. There is a decision that is made that leads to lust and then sin. Fantasy lovers have a problem of being far to near the edge for comfort at times.”
“So do you think you would ever fall prey to temptation? I mean is this philosophy slash theology foolproof?”
“No philosophy or theology works unless it is lived. If you don’t live it then it is dead philosophy or theology, so it only works when executed. The weakness is not the theology or philosophy itself, but whether or not one can live it and that boils down to choices and I am prone to fail and betray myself and my theology or philosophy as much as any other man or woman. I wont say it will never happen, because that would be foolish but even if I did fail, it would not be the failure of the philosophy or theology, just my failure to live it.”
Pina seemed satisfied and then excused herself. I looked back at Hilda. She had completed the daisy chain bikini bottoms and was standing up and moving around to make sure they were secure enough not to fall off. When she was done she began to work on the daisy chain tops. I was sure once they were done she would get back to gardening and the continuing job of keeping the courtyard stunning. I was also sure that those daisy chains would not conceal as much as her normal bikini and were far more fragile. I suspected she would have to make many more over the course of the summer. She looked up from her work at me when she noticed I was watching. She smiled a lovely smile and went back to work and I went back to my book. So far so good. Well, for today at least.
Welcome to All Things Rabyd, your friendly neighborhood ‘clothing optional’ theology pub. I, the Rabyd Theologian and your bartender, thank you for stopping by. Please drink your theology responsibly or have a designated driver to get you home. Please tip your waitress and they might give you a kiss on the cheek. Just remember life is short so enjoy it. Blessings and Cheers!