Disclaimer: The subject of this post is human sexuality in the context of Christian belief. It is intended for mature audiences. If you are under the age of 18 you should have your parents read it and judge if it is appropriate for you to read. Parents, lighten up about this with your teens because quite frankly I am trying to undo a lot of Christian mistakes in informing and educating people about sex. You have been warned and encouraged, enter at your own risk. Also, I am by no means a sexual expert, just a guy who has been married to the same woman for 25 plus years and a pastor who has for what ever reason been exposed to a lot of sexual issues during his ministry. If you don’t find your answer here, keep searching there is probably someone out there that has it.
I suppose this is more of a modern problem given that the technology level of video and photography has jumped so much in just the last two decades that it makes your head spin as to what used to be and what is now. What used to require a camera, film and a developer now fits in the palm of your hand and even cell phone video quality has improved so much that now a cell phone can pretty much be used for video. The other thing is that now the internet has made sharing video and pictures so quickly possible that one can go from being taken to shared with millions of people in literally minutes. It is truly wondrous, amazing and absolutely dangerous.
It does not take too much thinking to realize that if you want to take pictures of yourself and it is in any way compromising that it can also be shared and copied just as quickly. The thing is that some couples like to video tape themselves having sex or take pictures of themselves to send to their lover to put everyone in the mood so to speak. The other thing is that once something is out there in the digital universe, it is out there to stay. You would have to hunt down the millions and millions of copies of those pictures and videos and erase them all once something goes viral and I can only say to you good luck. The recent event where hundreds of female celebrities had personal nude pictures of them taken from the cloud and released to the public also demonstrates how secure your photos really are even if they are on your personal cell phone and were never intended for public consumption. Nothing is truly secure in he world of social media and the internet to a determined and knowledgeable hacker.
It could be asked if such a practice is even right for Christian couples. I would have to say the morality of this one is difficult because I can’t see anything spiritual wrong with taking a photo of your naked body and sending it to your spouse. If such a thing could truly be kept between the two of you, it is no different from flashing yourself in your home to tell your spouse you are interested only you are extending the range via technology. Video taping is also hard to say it is morally wrong if you are in a sense making your own person porn as it is not a sin to lust after your spouse. Spiritually there is no lusting after anyone other than who you are supposed to and so I cannot say that biblically there is a case that you should not do this.
That said there are about a million arguments against this practically. There has never truly been a way to be secure with sensitive material like this. Security is something that is relative and back in the day you might get some Polaroid shots or even get some old video tape to play in your VCR and that would be as safe as who had access to your box or chest where you kept it locked up. Now the media is connected to the world and so is even less secure. It becomes very interesting when you kids might get access to seeing you have sex but what happens when your whole neighborhood sees it or the country. Sorry this could be devastating to you and your family and the risks are very high these days.
There is also another issue that presents itself. The repentant porn star. Now this may not actually be a person who has stared in pornography. This could be a spouse who had a prior relationship and there are pictures and video tape. It could be the woman who did porn in her younger days and is no trying to turn over a new leaf even though she has tons of video and pictures out there. How does a Christian marriage go forward when this kind of stuff is in the past? When you consider that over 50% of people say there is a nude picture of themselves somewhere this is not a small possibility anymore.
One defense of course is to adopt the view that nudity is not really as sin so no big deal about that. It is the view I have taken for many years now but that is me. It is Christian society that has a deep problem with understanding the forgiveness of God on these issues or has poor theology about nudity and sex. No matter what there will be backlash or plain out rejection of such a person. The thing is though should this affect a person who is thinking about marrying with this in their or their spouse’s past and wanting true intimacy in the bed room? This is not an easy question with an easy answer. As with all things in the Christian Marriage Bed, communication is the key and coming to some understanding how you are going to handle these situations when they come up and they will come up as privacy these days takes much more effort. I also recommend being very strong friends as well as lovers as you are going to need each other greatly as the crap hits the fan.
Honestly, I don’t recommend video and pictures of you as a couple in action these days. If you absolutely insist, then find an old video camera or Polaroid camera and keep them in a locked chest out of the reach of children. If you need to go digital, get an old digital camera and develop them on a printer through a computer that is not connected to the web. Otherwise, you might suddenly be the talk of the town very quickly much to your family’s embarrassment. Remember privacy on these things is much more difficult and requires much more caution. You have been warned.