Disclaimer: The subject of this post is human sexuality in the context of Christian belief. It is intended for mature audiences. If you are under the age of 18 you should have your parents read it and judge if it is appropriate for you to read. Parents, lighten up about this with your teens because quite frankly I am trying to undo a lot of Christian mistakes in informing and educating people about sex. You have been warned and encouraged, enter at your own risk. Also, I am by no means a sexual expert, just a guy who has been married to the same woman for 25 plus years and a pastor who has for what ever reason been exposed to a lot of sexual issues during his ministry. If you don’t find your answer here, keep searching there is probably someone out there that has it.
Valentine’s Day approaches and there is always the discussion of various romantic and let’s be honest sexual activities or gifts. Over the years I have heard many discussions on what the best gift for Valentine’s Day is and one that comes up often is lingerie. I am going to tell you this is an interesting, wonderful and confusing gift. From a man’s perspective I can make the following observations:
1. Men should never give lingerie as a gift to a woman. Women should really consider this a gift to the man. I understand that some women love this as gift but in the end the one who will appreciate the gift most is the man who gets to see this spouse in a new outfit for the first time. The surprise factor is quite appreciated when a woman takes the time to pick something will package herself as the gift and set the right tone and message.
2. That said, it should be noted that different lingerie sends a different message to a man. The assumption that all lingerie sends the same message and that men consider it a waste of time is wrong. Sure there re some men that will be happy if you show up naked with a six-pack of beer but even the beer indicates a tone or atmosphere that is being aimed for. This would be far different from say BDSM wear with vodka or something flower and lace with Champagne. Like it or not the mood is set by the lingerie and its supporting cast even for a man.
3. Men are intensely visual in their arousal so it should be noted that what is showing and isn’t showing has a pretty big influence on the mood as well. Men can also note the way lingerie makes a woman carry herself differently. A woman in a silky sexy number will walk and pose herself differently than the same woman in a business suit. How a piece of lingerie affects you as a woman will be noted and can be seen by a man.
4. Men are different so it is important to learn what it is that he likes. There is no one size fits all when it comes to lingerie taste for men. It also should be noted that the same thing over and over is not good either. Men get bored with things so having multiple tools in your feminine sexual arsenal is not bad thing.
All this said I have heard that women also get a sort of mood boost when wearing something that makes them feel sexy or like a million bucks. Lingerie is often for some women as big a fashion drug as other forms of fashion. I however am a man and wouldn’t know or necessarily even understand how that works. What I do know is that to many men lingerie is the most important wrapping paper they enjoy taking off to get to the gift they enjoy most – their wife.