Tequila and I were back to back. I holding my shield, she holding my sword. Around us were the collected orcs, goblins and hobgoblins that had come to watch our death. They had been disappointed but now sought to sate their blood lust by killing us themselves. I counted about fifty but there could be more. When you’re the visiting team, home field advantage sucks. My only plan was to make as many of them as possible pay for killing us. The ring was tightening.
“Before we die, Tequila, I just want you to know that if by some miracle we get out of here, I want us to get married right away by th first official that can do so.”
“Agreed, miracles are not as in short supply as you might think.”
“What do you mean?”
“I didn’t come alone.”
As if on cue there was a war cry to the right of us and a whole bunch of human warriors all of them male came rushing into the arena taking the goblins and orcs by surprise from that side. A few seconds later there was another war-whoop and from the right I saw Shigri and Lytria leading a whole pack of half orc females from the left. In a few seconds we were completely forgotten. Tequila looked surprised as she turned to me.
‘Apparently, I didn’t come alone either”, I shrugged.
She handed me the sword.
“Ah, I hate to leave you unarmed.”
“Don’t worry, I don’t need weapons.”
The bad guys on the right of us were being slaughtered, the ones on the left were facing a similar fate. We joined the left side because there were fewer of our allies there and I quickly fund out what Tequila meant. The first action was to do a roundhouse kick to the back of the head of the nearest orc sent him to the ground. I stayed close to her providing my own form of mayhem. In a short amount of time I came face to face with Shigri and Lytria and there were no enemies left on that side. Turning around the other tribe of human warriors had also finished off their opponents. Not an orc or goblin was left standing.
I leaned over to Tequila and whispered in her ear. Her eyes widened for a minute and then she reached behind her back and popped the clasp to her bikini top and let it fall free. She gathered it up and gave it to me and I slipped it across my belt. The human warriors behind us didn’t bat an eye and one of them, a fairly large muscular fellow approached us.
“So this is the one you love Tequila?”
“Yes, it is Sentar.”
The guy was as tall as me and far more muscular. The conversation that followed between all the leaders was pretty much to catch me up on how everyone got there. Shigri and Lytria had discovered me gone and then sent one of the party back to get the tribe but that didn’t take as long as one might think. The Chieftain had foreseen my possible capture and had packed up a day after we left and followed us. Had I not been abducted they would have overtaken us in about an hour. They tracked my kidnappers and when they found me waited for the right moment to attack.
Tequila had gone through an entirely different story. She had woken up in tied with chains in the outfit she wore now. She would have remained the captive of the orcs had not Sentar rescued her. He was hoping to bring another woman to his tribe. Like the half orc girls his tribe was trapped as well-being escaped slaves from the orcs. The carved out a part of this underworld for themselves but were always very short on women as women slaves are kept far closer to their masters. In gratitude those women rescued often do join to Sentar’s tribe even thought the cost is being married to multiple men. The alternative of being raped by orcs and goblins is far worse. Tequila had not agreed to this citing that she was already betrothed to another. She at first was not believed but convinced the men of Sentar’s tribe by swift kicks to their heads. When she head an outlander had been captured she came at once brining Sentar’s tribe in tow.
For me though the highlight of the whole thing was Tequila and I finally got away from the conversation enough to kiss and hug deeply. I felt for at least a moment like the gallant knight with his fair lady even though Tequila had as much rescued me as I her. I pushed her away gently because I realized something and needed to act quickly.
“Shigri, is the chieftain nearby.”
Shigri did not answer because the chieftain stepped out of another group and stood in front of me.
” I am here barkeep.”
I asked her to follow me and we found Sentar. In a few moments I introduced a proposal to both chieftains. Sentar’s tribe was a tribe of human men with very few females. The half orc chieftain was all females with no males. Her hope was to find human men to test a theory that they might be able to cure their infertility. I proposed the two tribes merge.
“I will not give up being chief.”
“Not asking you to, I am asking you two to be the first ones to join together. Marriage if you like.”
“She is beautiful.”
“And a seer. Basically the two chiefs are husband and wife for the good of the tribe. The man rules the males and the woman rules the females. It forces cooperation between the sexes but keeps each equal.”
It meant a debate late into the night but the one thing I could count on was there was definitely an attraction between the Chief and Chieftain was growing. In the end they agreed and the two tribes celebrated by a long all night whatever as male humans and half orc females paired up and disappeared into dark corners of this area of the underworld. Even Shigri had found a man who was much smaller than she was but se seemed happy with her choice and so did he. There were still a few holdouts in that couple of the half orc females were in love with each other and a few of the men had females back home. The last thing decided before every one settled down to some well-earned ‘sleep’ was the tribe name – “The Bloody Blades”. The hope was it would put enough fear into the orcs and other underworld bad guys to keep them away. A tribe were every adult male and female fought together might do that.
There were going to be some messy but wonderful days ahead for the new tribe, but I had kept my word and now all I had to do was worry about how to get Tequila and I back home.
As if on cue, the Game Master appeared.
Welcome to All Things Rabyd, your friendly neighborhood ‘clothing optional’ theology pub. I, the Rabyd Theologian and your bartender, thank you for stopping by. Please drink your theology responsibly or have a designated driver to get you home. Please tip your waitress and they might give you a kiss on the cheek. Just remember life is short so enjoy it. Blessings and Cheers!