Disclaimer: The subject of this post is human sexuality in the context of Christian belief. It is intended for mature audiences. If you are under the age of 18 you should have your parents read it and judge if it is appropriate for you to read. Parents, lighten up about this with your teens because quite frankly I am trying to undo a lot of Christian mistakes in informing and educating people about sex. You have been warned and encouraged, enter at your own risk. Also, I am by no means a sexual expert, just a guy who has been married to the same woman for 25 plus years and a pastor who has for what ever reason been exposed to a lot of sexual issues during his ministry. If you don’t find your answer here, keep searching there is probably someone out there that has it.
This would be more properly called cuddling for our reference but it is a particular kind of cuddling in that it is the initial steps in leading to a sexual union. The idea is more than simple hugging here but a kind of embracing that tells that the intentions are to ‘get it on’. It is about placing you and your lover into a position that indicates that the desire of both of you is sex.
The Kama Sutra details four basic forms of the embrace. 1) When a man for some reason goes to the side or front of a woman while standing and touches her it is touching embrace. 2) When a woman bends down as if to pick something but ‘pierces’ a man’s body by touching it in any way with her breast, it is called piercing embrace. 3) When a couple while walking in a secluded place mutually rubs their bodies together it is a walking embrace. 4) If during the above the woman is pressed against a wall or pillar or something similar it changes from walking embrace to pressing embrace. From the standpoint of the Kama Sutra this is the first forms of cuddling or embracing that are announcing your intentions to have a sexual union.
The embrace escalates with two standing positions 1) when a woman puts her arms around a man and pulls his head down for a kiss and 2) when the woman wraps her leg around one of his are both standing poses of the embrace. The other two are when the couple moves to laying down. 3) Legs become intertwined and 4) when the couple mimics and embrace that looks like actual sex but does not involve copulation it is considered an embrace.
There are some other smaller forms of embrace that deal with specific areas of the body: thighs, breasts, lower torso and forehead. The idea being that these embraces mimic sexual activity but do not actually do so. In the embrace of the lower torso for instance a man might use his fingers in place of his penis to stimulate the woman and there seems to be a desire to make sure the woman is wet and flowing by these actions. The Kama Sutra definitely stresses the value of foreplay in this part.
From a Biblical perspective I think the Song of Solomon hints at some of these things where the lovers talk about embracing but I would have to say the Kama Sutra is far more detailed and instructive. It also seems to place a far higher value on the sensual nature of touching and cuddling between lovers. The idea is to enjoy each other and the touching and holding of each other. There is a notion that this goes back to the moment a couple is alone and walking together, but you don’t get the idea that standing sex is something the Kama Sutra would recommend other than when absolutely necessary mostly because it is probably difficult to be standing, naked and in public like the book talks of and so true sexual embrace requires a bed because of the need of being naked. The bed is the place to make love and it seems to start stressing than right away. This would however go with all the notions of preparation and social life leading up to this moment. The sexual encounter is to be enjoyed from the start to finish at every moment and aspect and the best place to do that is the place you have prepared.
Biblically I can’t see anything wrong with the advice. The advice would work for those who are married and Christian as much as any other couple. The challenge for married couples would be to keep the embrace fresh over the long haul. To still get chills up your spine when you wife brushes her breasts against you or the husband gently pushes his wife against a wall. The longer you are married the magic of these things seems to require more effort to rekindle and the Kama Sutra stresses this is indeed an essential part of the love-making process. It is good to remind yourself of this often. This goes the same for the next subject which is kissing.