If I were to rate my status on a lot of things right now I would say I am making progress personally. Professionally I am making progress on the education front but the problem is my work. I am now a day away from my last Sunday in the pulpit until July 3rd. I have felt this has been needed because I feel like Sisyphus right now when it comes to the church and probably the best thing for me to do is take this sabbatical and then return with fresh eyes.
It may simply be that I don’t have any new ideas or the problem stems from me. It has always been my leadership philosophy to first eliminate the guy in the mirror as the problem and then if that is so find out where the problem is and attempt to fix it. I have had to conclude several times in my life that the fault is mine but also I have also had to conclude that while I am not the problem, there have been situations that are beyond my ability to fix.
Ministry is an interesting profession. It simply cannot be correlated to any other profession. I have watched others who were highly successful in many other professions come into them ministry and fall flat on their face, You can’t apply what you know from other endeavors to it that often. It is unique and some people simply do not get that and even though I do, I am not sure I always get it myself.
I think personally I am in the ministry because without it I don’t know if I would grow myself spiritually. Being a pastor has forced me to dig deeper and find things out about myself i would have not otherwise discovered. It goes with the occupation or should. Those that ignore this do so at their peril. I just hope this month off will help me regain or discover something that will make it make more sense. Right now I feel truly like I am looking through a glass darkly as for the millionth time I put my shoulder to the stone to push it up the hill one more time.
Blessings and Cheers