Theology Pub – Why Does This Offend You?

It was a nice winter day so I headed to the mall.  Our town does not have a big mall but it is one of the few places in that you can still see green things when the white stuff covers the ground so I went hoping to get in some reading and maybe buy something for both of my wives.  The main reason though was to visit my favorite place to go to relax – the coffee shop slash book store on the ground floor next to the central fountain.  I like to come to this little place because it actually makes damn good hot chocolate which is my favorite hot drink.  I also like the fact that they have no WiFi and you can turn your smart phone off and no one thinks it is odd.

I was sipping said hot chocolate when I looked across to the fountain to see a mother with an infant child.  She was a well endowed gal and she sat down on a bench in front of the fountain.  The child seemed slightly fussy so she unbuttoned her shirt all the way and then opened up the right side and lifted up her bra on that side.  She then nuzzled the infant to her nipple and then proceeded to breastfeed her child. I went back to my book because even though she had larger than average knockers I see nudity all the time at the Pub so it was no big deal for me.  I do find that the sight of a woman feeding her child calming and quite frankly motherly so I enjoy it in that context.

After reading for a bit I looked up again and saw that she had switched to the other breast but had not really done up the other side so she was hanging out a bit which was not hard for her because she definitely had melons that were large melon sized.  I was about to go back to my book when another woman walked up and began to shout at the breastfeeding mother.

“You are being indecent, you need to cover yourself up when you do that!”

Now, you need to understand the country I live in.  We are pretty much Americans who transplanted ourselves to an a sizable island because we saw the abuse of the rise of federal power.  We created a country that basically celebrates and acts like Americans but we are not really Americans anymore. We even signed our constitution on July 4th so the holiday would be the same.  That said I knew the law of the land which is very libertarian.  The breastfeeding mother was well within her rights to do what she was doing.

The charge of indecent could still be leveled because of free speech and all that but the woman breastfeeding could not be stopped legally.  In our country we have seen the sense of making sure things are as equal as possible as far as government protection.  I had seen men in this mall (particularly in summer) walking up and down without shirts on because it is close to the beach which also meant that any woman, should she desire to do so, could do the same.  This is why my ‘clothing optional’ pub is perfectly legal with no permits or anything. There is no legal difference between a male chest and a female chest here.

Yeah, I know there are physiological differences in that a female chest has a fatty gland behind her nipples that has the potential to produce milk but biologically this their only real function. The fact that the male of the species also finds these fatty glands encased in skin attractive is just a side issue because they also find legs, a pretty face and the curve of a woman’s hips attractive and those often are not covered up and obsessed over being covered up as breasts are in Western society.

“Why does this offend you?”, the breastfeeding mother inquired.

“It’s wrong.”

“Who says?”

“Society.”

“Which society are you talking about.  In this country and culture there is no difference between my chest and a man’s.  What makes my female differences somehow immoral to show and a male’s moral to show?  There other countries where women openly show their breasts, are these countries and cultures less moral than your own?  Who are you to evoke society and assume that I am not a part of that society?  Give me a logical argument please.”

The accusing woman seemed stymied by the last statement.  That is because there really is not logical argument for a woman to keep her breasts covered while men do not.  Male and female nipples are absolutely the same but that is usually what is criminal for a woman to show in some of western society. However the actual breast in these same societies can be shown without showing the nipple and be OK, even though it is the mound of flesh of the female breasts that makes a woman’s chest different and not the nipple.  The fact is this argument against breastfeeding in public or even a woman being topless in public is purely emotional and cultural.  Logic has absolutely nothing to do with it.

“Well, men can’t control themselves when they see that.”

“Funny, there is man sitting there over in the coffee shop who has seen me feeding my baby for the last ten minutes and all he has done is smile at me and read his book.  Seems pretty much like a mature response.  Your statement assumes all men are alike and is quite frankly sexist.  Many men are fully capable of controlling themselves, and if they are one of the few that can’t, that is their problem not mine.  Try again.”

“Your showing off, seems prideful.”

“Not a logical argument but let’s look at you.  You come over here and feel that you are righteous enough and holy enough to not only judge me but also presume that you have the right to enforce your judgment on me because you are morally ‘superior’.  I say you are not and that just because you don’t like something does not give you the right to stop others from doing it. Also if I was showing off, I would want a better audience than you and some guy reading a book.  Quit confusing me with a stripper or something.  I would have done this in he food court and waved my girls around a little if I actually was doing this for attention.  I am just feeding my kid and there is nothing bad or immoral about breastfeeding a child so why should you or I act like there is? Did you ever think that maybe your negative reaction is based on your own insecurities?  Do you think it might be possible that you are doing nothing more than propping up your morality to feel better about yourself at my expense?”

The accusing woman clinched her fists and then stormed off.  The mother looked up at me and I saluted her.  She smiled and as if to say thank you for the moral support, she pulled her child off the other breast revealing them both briefly while she laid her child on her lap and then she dropped her bra back in place and buttoned up her shirt.  She took her child and left and I went back to my book.

I have long pondered the source of social mores and I think the basic problematic social mores are ones that are based on controlling the behavior of others.  The good social mores are based on protecting peoples’ freedoms to do as the wish as long as they are not harming others.  The first is based on control and manipulation and the second based on liberty and freedom.  I prefer the later.

Reluctantly I had to leave my book and hot chocolate.  I left the mall and walked back to the Pub which was two blocks away. The chill in the air was thankfully fought off by the liquid sloshing around in my belly.  I arrived back and as I walked in the door I was greeted with a kiss on both cheeks from each of my wives.  Connie had joined the workforce wearing a green barmaid outfit.  She looked good.

The fireplace was now burning as somehow some more wood had been found.  I warmed up by the fire for a little bit and Miss Wine (who was exercising complete ‘clothing optional’ status) came up and talked to me about the weather for a minute while warming her bare backside with the fire.  She then walked off to talk to someone else.  I went back to the bar to polish some glasses and serve some theology.  It had been a good day so far and I was looking forward to the rest of it.

Welcome to All Things Rabyd, your friendly neighborhood ‘clothing optional’ theology pub.  I, the Rabyd Theologian and your bartender, thank you for stopping by.  Please drink your theology responsibly or have a designated driver to get you home.  Please tip your waitress and they might give you a kiss on the cheek.  Just remember life is short so enjoy it.

Blessings and Cheers!!!

Dedicated to Alyssa Milano whose Instagram photo caused quite a stir.  Blessings and Cheers to you and your child.  Stay brave.  Stay strong.