This going to be another opinion piece for the week but I just can’t stand what has been happening in Christianity these days when it comes to how we deal with unbelievers and in particular these days sexual sin seems to be at the high end of the list of things so called ‘fundamentalists’ are having fit about in their media. In particular an article by Jennifer LeClaire called “Can We Pray the Polyamory Away?” seems to have everyone buzzing on top of the already tense situation involving response to the Presbyterian church’s voting to allow gay marriage. Honestly, I feel like I am repeating myself with this stuff but Ms. LeClaire’s article is pretty typical of most conservative Christian response – loaded with emotion, lacking in Biblical understanding and quite frankly self righteous.
To set the stage, I would be the first to decry anyone who thinks prayer is a waste of time or ineffective so I am not questioning her on that. Prayer does change things despite the critics claims to the contrary. I am also not saying that homosexuality is not a sin. I have written on that topic in this post: Marriage and the Bible – Part 48 – Modern Challenges: Homosexual Marriage. My issue is how the issues are handled by Christians and society. I am also not picking on Ms. LeClaire as I see a lot of articles like hers by other authors. She is well written from a stylistic point of view but she also is writing for a fairly high profile website in the Christian community so I just notice her more often when she writes. I have seen her before and wrote this response to another subject she was dealing with: The Better Question (Thoughts on The Wolves in Sheep’s Clothing Project). I am going to however take her article paragraph by paragraph and rip it apart because I think it shows and absolute lack of wisdom when dealing with social issues and responding to unbelievers which we are exhorted by the Bible to have when dealing with said unbelievers.
Jennifer begins:
There’s a saying in the gay community that goes something like this: “You can’t pray the gay away.” Although I don’t believe that—I know of many who were delivered from same-sex attractions through the power of prayer—the media push for gays on TV has paved the way for a new wave of immorality: polyamory.
Showtime is airing an original series called Polyamory: Married & Dating, which follows two polyamorous families living in Southern California. This shameful show puts another perverted twist on reality TV just as did Sister Wives when it started broadcasting an inside view of modern polygamy where a man is “happily married” to three wives.
Firstly, if you are going to do a piece on social issues that non-believers are likely to read, using words like ‘shameful’ and ‘perverted’ is not going to get people to listen to you. You need to understand too many Christians assume that they should not have to prove something is shameful or perverted but they go forward and just assume everyone really thinks that. Sorry, there my have been a time when the understanding of American society as a whole would have said the same thing, but those days are long gone and we must EARN the right to be heard once again and such language never leads people to listening because the person comes off as self righteous like they are in some morally superior position to the person they are talking to. No one likes to listen to such a person.
Secondly, if you are going to call something sinful it better be clearly defined that way by the Bible itself. To lump Polyamory and Polygamy in the same ‘sinful’ pile is not supported Biblically. Polyandry might be sinful on certain grounds because of the homosexuality, but polygamy is not only never condemned by the Bible it is practiced by some of the Bible’s more glamorized heroes from Abraham and Jacob to David and Solomon. When Jesus talks about marriage and harkens us back to Adam and Eve it should be pointed out that the issue is divorce, he actually does not dismiss polygamy with his words or say it is wrong. He simply is saying there is a higher way that should be strived for. Sorry you can’t call the show Sister Wives immoral based on the Bible. Also contrary to some people’s opinion, not all examples of polygamy in the Bible are presented in a negative light. If your going to criticize things as sinful you better make sure they are sinful. Otherwise people, including non believers, who know their Bible will no longer think you are credible. Jennifer continues:
Last week, NBC rolled out a report called True Believers, that gets up close and a little too personal with a polyamorous “family” about what it’s like to “live with multiple partners without sacrificing the comforts of home.” This so-called “family” includes five adults and a 9-year-old girl who believe their lifestyle is completely normal.
Even the NBC reporter who was an instrument of an immoral agenda asked questions like, “How is that not awkward?” One member of the “family” tried to get cutesy with its definition of what polyamory means, describing it as “more laundry.” Can you see how the prince of the power of the air is using media to push a new level of debauchery to generations young and old?
Once again more language that will cause people to shut you down and not listen and rightly call you self righteous. Also quit giving the Devil so much credit. I have not much new to say here other than if people were not going to look at you as self righteous before they are certainly there now with this language. You trying to get an emotional response not actually evangelize at this point and that response is going to be negative because you have set that stage with your negative language.
Although polyamory is illegal in 21 states, statistics on polyamory are difficult to come by. NBC suggested 5 percent of people in the United States are in polyamorous relationships. The NBC report reveals there are over 900 in Atlanta’s polyamory community. My own research reveals one group, Open Love NY, has more than 1,000 members with an increase in new members since it launched in 2009.
Yes, polyamory is the new darling of an immoral media. I mentioned The Atlantic article earlier this year that profiled Diana Adams, who runs a Brooklyn-based legal firm that fights to offer traditional marriage rights to untraditional lovers—and is in a polyamorous relationship. Valentine’s Day saw article after article on polyamory and sites like Live Science are working to debunk the myths around polyamory.
Alright, I want people at this point to consider the impossibility of enforcing sexual morality laws. I always laugh at Christians who think they can change people’s morality or make them less sinful through the law. I thought Paul’s whole point was you have change the person inside and then the outward would change. Didn’t Jesus condemn the Pharisees because outwardly they were clean but inwardly were unclean? This however is exactly the tactic that people who want to change morality of a person first without changing the inside of a person with the gospel are trying to do. It will not work.
No matter if homosexuality is outlawed or same sex marriage is allowed, people will be in their homes engaging in homosexual activity. The same is true for Polyamory. Sitting around and yelling about how evil it is not going to change it and stopping people from doing it by force of law will not get rid of the sin inside the people.
But it grows worse. I just learned there’s even an app for that! A mobile application called 3nder advertises polyamory in a way I won’t repeat. ABC has preached the “gospel of polyamory” in its attempt to move past gay marriage into further destruction of God’s plan for the family. But it doesn’t end there. Just as some practicing homosexuals claim eternal security in Christ, some “swingers” are now claiming Christianity despite living in immorality, even launching a matchmaking site to help them hook up.
As I’ve said before, slowly and steadily, the push for polyamory is rising in the media, in many ways taking a page from the gay agenda‘s playbook. Polyamory is already a legislative issue in Canada. Rest assured, America is next. The shadow of Sodom and Gomorrah hangs over America. Perversion is rising.
Lord, I hate it when Christians don’t do their homework. Imagine that, there is and app for that! There are actually tons of dating apps and most all of them are not really picky about what type of relationship you want and this has been around as long as apps have been around. Later, Jennifer will yell at people like me for keeping our heads in the sand. I guess it takes one to know one.
I also hate it when people equate us with Sodom and Gomorrah. The truth is we do not know exactly how evil Sodom and Gomorrah were because they are gone. There are also places in this modern world where Americans consider the morality to be worse and perhaps it is. Why then has God not nuked them as a warning to us. Truly though the logic on this is bad because sin has always existed in every society. The only question that has ever existed is how much culture is willing to let people practice openly rather than keep it home in their closet. I would venture to say this is not the only time in a America that polyamory has existed. There are actually many examples of relationships that were of questionable character from the revolutionary war to now and everywhere in between. It is only now the culture is letting it be known and that truly is the only difference.
Can we pray the polyamory away? If we sit by and complain or stick our heads in the sand, arguing that Christians should not be discussing these issues, then we’re admitting defeat and displeasing Christ. But if you believe that God can deliver some from the grip of immorality—whether that’s adultery, fornication, masturbation, pornography, homosexuality, polygamy, bestiality, polyamory or some other sexual sin—then drop to your knees and join with me in intercessory prayer. It’s not only about setting the captives free—it’s about protecting the next generation of young minds the media is molding.
Laughing and I ask Jennifer’s forgiveness but did you read what you wrote. “If we sit by and complain…” is particularly humorous to me because all this article that she has wrote has been one long complaint. Sorry it is funny. It is also not true that people like myself that say we not whittle and worry over the social issues, I never have said and never will say that we should not be talking about them. It is HOW we are talking about them that bothers me because we are talking change morality first and then Jesus second. I just say we should not get the cart before the horse. We preach the good news first and then baptize and disciple second. It also means that we need to preach the gospel like Jesus did – with compassion.
Just a side note as well. The list you give of sexual sins is only valid if the Bible lists them all as sexual sins – adultery. fornication, homosexuality and bestiality are listed in the Bible. The rest are an assumption based on current Christian interpretive thought from a ‘fundamentalist’ perspective. Make a note. Polyamory is not listed and you need to point out that the reason that parts of this are sinful are the homosexual elements.
The problem I have with the tone of this whole article is its tone is self righteous and condemning. There is no compassion for the people involved in polyamory at all that I can sense in this article in the way it is written. I am not saying Jennifer does not have any compassion for these people, I am just saying it did not come out in the article and she and others who write like this need to think about that.
The greatest example I can give is Jesus with the issue of sexual sin is the woman at the well. Jesus did indeed confront her sexual sin in that she had been married to five husbands (a form of polygamy only one husband at a time) and the guy she was sleeping with at the time was not her husband, he did not condemn her for it and instead offered her the good news about himself and what he could do for her. This showed compassion toward her. Unfortunately, the approach of the American church has lacked compassion toward the sinner of our society for many years now and in it place are articles like this one that has a self righteous tone and objectifies the sinner because of their sin. This is the largest problem with the American church right now that sinners are not people to us, just things that need to change so we feel better about being justified in our opinion of how sinful they are. We seem to have forgotten that we were once sinners ourselves.
IMHO
All Things Rabyd 
Avery insightful and well written article on a complex subject matter.
Thank you.