The next section of this chapter on emerging themes in Caught in the Pulpit: Leaving Belief Behind was to ask the 26 people who responded to he whole questioning process what they had gained and lost from losing their faith. I thought this section, though long, was the most interesting. The things 26 people can say is rather lengthy but I found as I read them several things began to repeat:
1. Freedom both personal and intellectual. Most of the respondents felt as if they had lost the shackles of religion. They all in some way expressed that they felt free from bondage and that they were now free to believe as they wanted and could express their belief as they saw fit. Not having God over them theologically they felt this was liberating. This life was all there is and therefore they no longer live in fear of a God who will send them to hell forever if they didn’t measure up. The lost their guilt and feelings of being inadequate to please a holy God. Because of it some expressed that they now had a clean conscience.
2. Some expressed freedom from the poverty that is them ministry. The fact is some expressed in offhanded ways that the church expects is ministers to live in poverty and like it. Most expressed that they went into ne jobs that allowed them more freedom to be what they wanted to be as well as provide for their families.
3. The most painful loss that almost all of them expressed was the lost relationships. Some lost marriages, friends and the sense of community they had within the church. Some felt losing their faith in God was like losing a dear friend. Very few expressed they lost their way of making money as most of them said that was something that improved because they left the ministry.
4. There were a few because of the agony of going through the transition of losing their faith also lost their health because of it. Losing faith is incredibly stressful and takes its toll. I can relate. At the same time others expressed their health took an upswing because their depression left them almost immediately.
5. Some felt they lost their innocence particularly about the ‘goodness’ of their church. They seemed to suddenly realize that religion can do a lot of harm to people as well.
The thing I noticed the most is that all of them had more things to say about what they had gained rather than what they had lost. The losses did not seem that great to them in light of discovering the truth from their perspective. In short freedom from religion and faith was so liberating and so much an upbeat that all that they lost while painful did not compare to what they had gained.
My reaction is that this is interesting that some of the things these gains and losses were similar to mine. The difference was for me that I realized that there is a difference between faith in God or the Bible and what religion and certain theologies say about God and the Bible. I didn’t make the choice an all or nothing gamble about whether I believed in God so much as it was asking was there another way to look at it. the result was the same feeling of freedom when I chucked conventional theology for rethinking God and the Bible for myself.
I still live in poverty. I have stuck with the ministry because it is what I know how to do. The problem is the ministry does not pay so this weight still remains and I understand the simple desire to get another career for the sake of finances. This however is not a matter of faith but the simple reality of the ministry and the state of the church not a matter of faith.
I too have lost friends and community. In many ways going out and being an independent minister was not so much a loss of community but it certainly downsized it for me. The large community replaced with the small.
My health was pretty bad when I struggled, but when I came out of my struggles I felt better and then worked to be better. I am not sure bad health is the product of faith or religion so much as it is the product of being in stressful situations and changing or losing faith is stressful no matter how hard you slice it.
I realized that religion can do a lot of harm, those of you reading Rabyd Apologetics know that in large part I agree with Hitchens about the evils of religion. However, I also know this is about people who use religion and faith to evil ends, some people have done the same with the state, and it does not have to be this way and it is not always true that religion does evil things.
Next up is the authors revisiting some of their people form the first study on this phenomena they did.